My daughter asked me,”How did you potty train Dar so young? He was so out of it. I mean the other boys I remember but how did you train Dar? I have a question from a friend and I don’t know what to say.”
After I answered her I realized I should share more widely. I have spoken of toilet training before, but when I answered her I realized I was giving her a piece to the puzzle I hadn’t mentioned previously.
Essentially potty training is quick and I can generally accomplish the bulk of it in four to five days as long as the child or adult has been properly set up in advance. In other words, motivated to want to do it.
Its not too mysterious really. You just have them go without pants and catch them. It does however require 100% of your focus, all day, every day for the entire training period. People with no sensation but with bladder/bowel control can also learn so long as they are taught to use other sensory systems like their eyes to comprehend with (now you know why its easier without pants).
NOTE: If the learner is an older child or adult you’ll really have to help them unlearn the ignoring of sensory input, and the corresponding reduction of sensory information received by the brain that has occurred, via a preconditioning period wherein the child is motivated to change.
Once you are ‘into it’ (the learner is pant-less and needing to go) the part I have forgotten to mention in the past is the correct energy method for responding.
You see, people with sensory problems are easily panicked and so if you get too excited when they begin to pee or poo and cheer them on too much they will tighten and withhold. If you ignore in the hopes that they will get it right, even if they do they will not learn to connect “right” with desired future behavior. So what to do? Cheer with a comforting, proud voice that talks them through it. Think of your being as a slow ascending force that helps them stay focused and happy to comply. Move with confident steady energy as you bring them to the potty or the potty to them. Be proud, but be proud with explanation and undistracting shifts of energy.
They are having to learn to regulate a part of their sensory system connected with their muscles, so you must also regulate yours.
This is a very big piece of the puzzle so I will say it again:
Cheer with a slowly rising energy. Be aware of startling and don’t! Because a startle reflex will lead to withholding.
Good luck and happy toileting!