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Welcome to my Brainy Lady blog! This is where I get to take off the doctor’s coat (it's not mine--yet), tie it around my waist and share autism tips, surprising brain science, funny personal stories and painful doctorate program homework complaints… okay, maybe I'll avoid that last one. Regardless, I hope to offer insights and invite the same while enjoying a cup of coffee with the autism, neuroscience, psycophysiology, parenting, spiritual, thinking, comedic, curious community! If that leaves you out, I'm sorry and suggest you try on one of the many hats. One is bound to fit!

Advocates and Activists: Recognize, Become, and Choose Effective Leaders with Lessons from Mental Health Expert, The Brain Broad (Press Release)

Lynette Louise (“The Brain Broad”) Is Returning To Speak At The Annual Leadership Summit America

*Lynette Louise has been working effectively as an advocate (for victims of abuse, homelessness, and disabilities) for over thirty years. Around the world she has helped build passionate teams of educators, taught families necessary skills for raising the bar and growing more successful, and even opened up her own home as a place of Leadership, love, and learning. Anyone interested in building an influential team that gives power to their activism or advocacy will want to learn with Lynette!*

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Back by popular demand, renowned international brain change expert Lynette Louise (“The Brain Broad”) will be speaking at the Annual Leadership Summit America – Albany, November 2-3rd 2017 at the DESMOND Hotel and Conference Center. On an impressive roster with fellow Leadership Influencers – Jeff Hoffman, Sharon Burstein, Forbes Riley, Frank Shankwitz, and Marilyn Suey – The Brain Broad will be showing attendees how to harness their Leadership Senses in pursuit of better Leaders and Leadership Skills.

The Seven Leadership Sensibilities (as described in the book The Seven Senses Of Leadership: The Brain Broad’s Guide to Leadership Sensibilities by Lynette Louise) are Seeing, Hearing, Tasting, Smelling, Feeling, Balancing, and Leading. Lynette is skilled at teaching the science of the senses with passion and easily remembered metaphors, and then taking us several steps further into creating, enhancing, and building our own skills with this new surprisingly fascinating knowledge.

Neuro-diversity, disability, and mental health advocates will particularly appreciate Lynette’s inclusive presentation! As an international expert and hands-on clinician, The Brain Broad gives neuro-diversity, behavior, ability, and more an important role. Also, Lynette is hosting a no-cost gathering for folks interested in learning more about Leadership and Neuro-Diversity, or brain health and disability, on the Friday at the finish of the summit.

A Tiny Taste Of What Lynette Teaches:

1) SEEING leads to believing and believing leads to seeing: they work together and build upon each other. It is the act of believing (or expecting) that causes your brain to choose what bits and pieces, out of the landscape of possibilities in front of you, that you will perSEEv .

2) People choose their leaders out of fear and love. The SMELL OF SUCCESS in a leader can be thrown out there like a chemical pheromone; a pheromone of love or a pheromone of hate. Lynette shows you how to control your pheromone production through intention, helping you produce the ODOR OF ADORE. You must have the ODOR OF ADORE – not just to get adoration, but to give it. It’s a mutual feedback loop of chemical reception.

3) LEADERS choose strength and set their followers free. In fact, they insist upon it. Leaders Lead and then let go in order to grow. They are always on the move. And every time they step forward, they leave an empty space behind in their wake that somebody else must step into and fill.

BRAIN BROAD TIP: “A Natural Leader naturally knows how to build herself using the world around her and the raw material of her personage. A Learned Leader learns to do the same. In the end, you can’t tell one from the other. So learn. Learn how to Lead and how to not be misLed .”

This is only a small sample of the many fascinating and effective Leadership Sensibilities Lynette Louise will help attendees understand and employ at November’s Annual Leadership Summit America – Albany. And Lynette is merely one of the speakers that will be sharing valuable knowledge!

BONUS: Lynette will host a special no-cost gathering for Q&A on the brain after the summit has ended on Friday. Simply email her with your name and intention to attend. (Scroll down for contact info.)

Whether learning to lead is your motivation, or choosing better leaders – or both! – be sure to attend this powerful event.

Lynette Louise is available for interviews.

*Lynette Louise began her career in Leadership at the age of seven when she gave a sermon at her local church about the dangers of prejudice. Sadly, after her passionate sermon, prejudice still existed. So, armed with vision and overflowing with ideas, Lynette spent a lifetime studying human behavior with the specific purpose of becoming an ethical influential Leader. Now she works tirelessly to share that lifetime of learning with others through storytelling. Films, books, performances, articles, and events large and small have been honored by the spirit of that seven-year-old who continues to change the world.*

Register or learn more about the Annual Leadership Summit America – Albany here: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/

Purchase The Seven Senses of Leadership: The Brain Broad’s Guide to Leadership Sensibilities here: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/
Contact – Lynette Louise, D.Sc., Ph.D. ABD, Doubly Board Certified in Neurofeedback
www.lynettelouise.com/ www.brainbody.net / EMAIL: mom4evermore@juno.com

PHONE: 713-213-7682

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Welcome to my Brainy Lady blog! This is where I get to take off the doctor’s coat (it's not mine--yet), tie it around my waist and share autism tips, surprising brain science, funny personal stories and painful doctorate program homework complaints… okay, maybe I'll avoid that last one. Regardless, I hope to offer insights and invite the same while enjoying a cup of coffee with the autism, neuroscience, psycophysiology, parenting, spiritual, thinking, comedic, curious community! If that leaves you out, I'm sorry and suggest you try on one of the many hats. One is bound to fit!

This Is Your Brain On Hate – Hate Addiction Is Like Cocaine Addiction

“This is your brain. This is your brain on hate….”

Hate can be hard to understand. Yet, with a little understanding of behavior and the brain, it seems (almost) logical.  It also becomes clear that we can learn how to not choose it.

Hate and anger have stronger neuro-chemical hits than the softer emotions. It is like comparing a strong dose of cocaine to five drops of CBD oil, wherein you feel better but don’t get high. And, like cocaine, the strong hit of hate wears off quick and needs to be repeated. So if you are addicted to hate you have to self-inject (via thoughts and speech) constantly. Thus, addiction to looking for “hate targets” is quick to take hold.

Additionally, the brain is preset to attend more quickly and completely to negative stimuli in order to keep us safe. This translates into meaning that if we feel a negative emotion, like hate or anger, all thoughts that might bring a countering emotion are wiped away until the internally driven neuro-chemical drug reduces in amount.

Like all junkie communities, hate cements people together because it is easier to get a hit for free when you hang out with other people who have the same interests/beliefs/addictions.

Understanding this about hate can, admittedly, be almost enticing. Luckily, though, this knowledge mostly leads us to make safer, less addicting choices. After all, being an addict is a quick way to lose self-control, self-care, family, success, and legitimate friends.

And hate becomes an addiction quickly.

For those of you who are already addicted, or know someone who is, this is powerful knowledge, indeed! With this insight you can catch yourself seeking and inducing hits of hate. You will see the places where you can do the work of changing your thoughts, changing your communities (online and off),  and changing your habits.

And I’ll let you in on a clever insight. The work you’ll be doing shifting out of your addiction by paying attention will keep your brain on alert. Being on alert is neurochemically similar to the brain-state created when targeting the environment for things (and people) to hate. Thus, your brain will now be busy releasing chemicals that reduce your NEED to hate, helping you avoid experiencing overly intense withdrawal symptoms.

Being a hate addict isn’t healthy for anyone.

Just say no.

 

 

Welcome to my Brainy Lady blog! This is where I get to take off the doctor’s coat (it's not mine--yet), tie it around my waist and share autism tips, surprising brain science, funny personal stories and painful doctorate program homework complaints… okay, maybe I'll avoid that last one. Regardless, I hope to offer insights and invite the same while enjoying a cup of coffee with the autism, neuroscience, psycophysiology, parenting, spiritual, thinking, comedic, curious community! If that leaves you out, I'm sorry and suggest you try on one of the many hats. One is bound to fit!

Short Term Memory Loss Client – We Expect Long Term Success

Short term memory loss client update:

I have never worked with this issue before so I explained to the client that I was willing to try and help, but could make no guarantees.

The man was a psychiatrist before his heart attack four years ago. He was without oxygen for a prolonged period of time and in a coma for many days.

When he woke he had many issues, the most troubling of which (for his wife) was short term memory loss. For the past four years he had not stored memories and indeed could not recall (no matter how many times they told him) that he had had a heart attack.

I did a four-hour assessment, treatment visit to determine if I could use neurofeedback to improve his function. I introduced myself every minute or so because his retention was stuck at thirty seconds.

I saw several improvements in how his damaged body was working and agreed to take him on as a client, reminding everyone that I wasn’t sure we could impact the memory loss but that we could at least improve attention, stress, and the Parkinsonisms in his movement.

One week later, his brain and body had retained some of the beneficial changes so I felt excited. After the first session of thirty minutes he could remember my name for five minutes. Four hours later, without prompting, he could tell us about his heart attack, his lack of blood flow to the brain, he called me by my name (Lynette) and when asked what people also call me he would laugh and say ‘Brain Broad!’

At the end of this month (April 2017) I stop taking new clients because my commitment to a family spans a decade and I just turned sixty. I cannot think of a better case to close the books on. Feeling blessed.

*NOTE: There are still a few days left to reach out to me if you’d like to be a new client. With your permission, I’ll even post about your successes. Either way I wish you blessings on your journey and have created, and will continue to create, product filled with many means for helping you along the way… even if we never meet..
Phone: 713-213-7682 / Email: mom4evermore@juno.com

Welcome to my Brainy Lady blog! This is where I get to take off the doctor’s coat (it's not mine--yet), tie it around my waist and share autism tips, surprising brain science, funny personal stories and painful doctorate program homework complaints… okay, maybe I'll avoid that last one. Regardless, I hope to offer insights and invite the same while enjoying a cup of coffee with the autism, neuroscience, psycophysiology, parenting, spiritual, thinking, comedic, curious community! If that leaves you out, I'm sorry and suggest you try on one of the many hats. One is bound to fit!

Simple Solutions For Parents Struggling To Bond With Baby

Dear parents struggling to bond with baby,

Allow me to give you this gift.

Let go of whatever you imagined it would be like to bond, you were wrong.

A lot of this feeling, this feeling of not being able to bond, is due to reality not matching imagination. Also, you’re tired and hormonal, which leads to emotions that cause you to be easily worried and overly observant in self-sabotaging ways.

Just take the time to get to know this new creature. There’s no reason why you would be bonded until you do that.

The difference between the parent who bonds right away and the parent who doesn’t is the belief that they will bond, without the imagined idea of what that should look like or feel like in advance.

Stay in the present and you will be fine.

When you’re in the present you’ll be able to tell if your baby is pulling away and/or refusing to feed because of a problem (maybe a sensory issue or pain) and then you will seek the correct counsel rather than take it personally.

Please Know: The act of reaching out to help your child is the act of bonding.

If you find yourself with more questions or concerns, please feel comfortable reaching out to me.

Bonding with baby is a gift I would love to help you unwrap.

~Lynette Louise
aka The Brain Broad

Welcome to my Brainy Lady blog! This is where I get to take off the doctor’s coat (it's not mine--yet), tie it around my waist and share autism tips, surprising brain science, funny personal stories and painful doctorate program homework complaints… okay, maybe I'll avoid that last one. Regardless, I hope to offer insights and invite the same while enjoying a cup of coffee with the autism, neuroscience, psycophysiology, parenting, spiritual, thinking, comedic, curious community! If that leaves you out, I'm sorry and suggest you try on one of the many hats. One is bound to fit!

Family Meetings – Do Them Well

“Family meeting!” was something I could be heard hollering often, calling all eight of my kids to our huge family dinner table. It was always an effective way to get everyone into one room, but over the years  I perfected the art of the family meeting so that it became effective in all the other ways I wanted (and needed) it to be, too.

So now I’d like to have a family meeting with you! I’d like to share with you the art of the family meeting. Welcome to my dinner table.

LENGTH OF TIME: The length of time a family meeting should last depends on the ages and learning styles of the family members. For instance, a six year old with an auditory learning style would be blessed by five minutes for her/him, and five for the adult. Assuming two adults and two similarly aged and styled children the meeting lasts twenty minutes. Children with visual learning styles might do better to have the meeting be more opportunistic in nature taking advantage of a moment or environment (look at that playground we went there twice last year) however, to make it routine one could use pictures etc. for their visual learner.

FREQUENCY: The frequency of the family meeting is best when it falls on a weekly or biweekly basis, since then it becomes part of the family style rather than a high-pressure period of time wherein the child and parent feel like they must have great answers and questions.

If the meeting is happening quite frequently it can be used to organize chores, sooth sibling rivalry and explain parental choices. But it must be mostly used to gather intel on the lives of each other; to show an interest and share personal (funny, challenging, sad, happy) stories. These can be done in a game format wherein a card is pulled from a hat and the instruction on what to share is followed.

THE PURPOSE: This meeting should help bond and inform. The importance of explaining where you and the other family members are at, and what has happened over the past year, lies in the shaping of a brain and a personal understanding of the future. Future sight is one of the things we are always shaping in our children. Their young brains are fanciful in nature and don’t logically sequence possible futures. To help their brains grow strong logic centers, we as parents must help with that process. Too many families share doom and gloom and create dysfunctional brain development.

The family meeting also enlightens each member on the reasoning of the others. This helps brain and emotional development by creating clarity and affection rather than self-centered confusion and separateness. Finally, slave mentality comes from being taught to blindly follow authority. The family meeting (done well) is preventative from this sort of control method.

THE CONCLUSION: I encourage you to have family meetings but be sure to take the steps necessary to make them effective and successful. Yes, sometimes they will be intense and even uncomfortable. So make sure they are often fun, too.

Like this family meeting we just had.

Fun, right?

;D

 

Welcome to my Brainy Lady blog! This is where I get to take off the doctor’s coat (it's not mine--yet), tie it around my waist and share autism tips, surprising brain science, funny personal stories and painful doctorate program homework complaints… okay, maybe I'll avoid that last one. Regardless, I hope to offer insights and invite the same while enjoying a cup of coffee with the autism, neuroscience, psycophysiology, parenting, spiritual, thinking, comedic, curious community! If that leaves you out, I'm sorry and suggest you try on one of the many hats. One is bound to fit!

Before You React, Read On

My son likes to pretend he is Retarded!

Before you get angry at him, read on:

When he was young he was diagnosed as globally retarded with fetal alcohol syndrome and autistic-like mannerisms.

Before you get angry at me, read on:

I did NOT drink during pregnancy. I adopted him with these diagnoses.

Before you get impressed by me put your focus back on him and, read on:

My son is 35 this year. He has accomplished much in this life. He has been fully independent since he was 19 and worked a steady job since he was 17. That is more than most men without a diagnosis, let alone three.

Before you forget to see the miracle in this, read on:

My son likes to pretend he is retarded because he used to be and isn’t anymore. And even though most people would find that to be in very bad taste, I think it’s brilliant.

Before you get judgmental, read on:

I think that playing with the mannerisms of a special needs man feels funny to him, and maybe even a little fun, because of the feeling of familiarity. He has always been a bit of a clown; both in school and around the house. So this silliness makes sense, matches him in more ways than one.

Before you decide it’s time for him to STOP IT, reconsider:

I think the juxtaposition of dropping in and out of this special needs character helps him feel his own progress, helps him continue to grow and distance himself from the old slow moving style, resets the speed at which he must function and operates like a break in the pattern that prevents him from getting overwhelmed.

The truth is people do things for a reason. Understanding the reason helps us appreciate and see all people in all their multi-layered glory.

My son likes to pretend he is retarded!

And I love that about him. Because he has used it to solve his own problem and also because he is my son who likes to do this; loving him requires loving everything about him. Pretending to be retarded is just a part of his shtick, his story, and his overcoming.

My son is no longer retarded. He is a miracle of overcoming and before you forget to be impressed, read on:

My fetal alcohol syndromed, no longer globally retarded, no longer on the spectrum of autism man/son is a hard working, sweet, funny without-being-mean adult with honorable intentions. He has owned homes, travel-trailers, trucks, and equipment, etc. He has had several intimate relationships, some good and some bad. He is training for his second career while working to maintain this pattern of paying his own way. My son never graduated high school, or even managed to get a GED. Instead, he learned as he went along, only what he needed to know. He didn’t lean on drugs (prescribed or otherwise) or systems of assistance. He just worked, overcame, worked, overcame, worked overcame.

And because he is focused on working at being a success he is one.

My son is impressive and he likes to pretend he is retarded.

My son is a lesson in what really matters and I thank him for teaching me.

Welcome to my Brainy Lady blog! This is where I get to take off the doctor’s coat (it's not mine--yet), tie it around my waist and share autism tips, surprising brain science, funny personal stories and painful doctorate program homework complaints… okay, maybe I'll avoid that last one. Regardless, I hope to offer insights and invite the same while enjoying a cup of coffee with the autism, neuroscience, psycophysiology, parenting, spiritual, thinking, comedic, curious community! If that leaves you out, I'm sorry and suggest you try on one of the many hats. One is bound to fit!

This Is Your Brain On Leadership

Invitation: Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/  Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/


Neuroscience teaches us to become better Leaders, get more done and increase our influence.  Use the latest research in the field of brain science to make the right choices, accelerate your productivity- and theirs. A must read for any manager, team leader or executive with staff.

Valuable insights gleaned from the stories of global Leaders throughout history are the backdrop of my latest book, The Seven Senses of Leadership: The Brain Broad’s Guide to Leadership Sensibilities. I bust Leadership myths and uncover The Seven Senses of Leadership, with stories, brain science and fun facts.

I admit that I was surprised by the overwhelmingly positive response to my book. Not because I didn’t know it was a good book (after all, I wrote it because I knew it needed to be written) but because I’m not exactly the most passionate “marketer” of my creations.  I work, I write, I film, I create; I post, I share, I tell, and then I let go.

So when the book was a quick success, I was surprised. I realized that the information was needed and desired, maybe more than I’d originally known. And because I am The Brain Broad, I know well that some people get their information best with other forms of media. Books are great! But some people prefer — even need — video and/or audio.

So, I reached out to several of my Leader friends. Again, I was surprised with the overwhelmingly positive response! Everyone who was available agreed to be part of my FREE Virtual Leadership Summit: Seeking The Path.

I asked 39 diverse and successful Leaders the same three success and Leadership questions, and they all answered in their own unique ways. Certain aspects of Leadership reveal themselves to be consistent in every answer – although always expressed in different ways. I love this!

The open and thoughtful nature in which these Leaders share with us, even telling stories exclusively to our audience, fills me with a gratitude I can barely express. Although I will continue to do so anyway.

Starting by inviting you to join us. When people share their knowledge it’s a gift. I hope you’ll unwrap it with me.

[This is a playlist. Click “play” and let it roll!]

 

Welcome to my Brainy Lady blog! This is where I get to take off the doctor’s coat (it's not mine--yet), tie it around my waist and share autism tips, surprising brain science, funny personal stories and painful doctorate program homework complaints… okay, maybe I'll avoid that last one. Regardless, I hope to offer insights and invite the same while enjoying a cup of coffee with the autism, neuroscience, psycophysiology, parenting, spiritual, thinking, comedic, curious community! If that leaves you out, I'm sorry and suggest you try on one of the many hats. One is bound to fit!

About Balance

There are a lot of tips for staying emotionally balanced and I would love to offer them to you!

However, sometimes by giving a lot of tips I run the risk of having the most needed information glossed over by my overwhelmed reader. So instead I will share what I see as the most un-thought about, un-talked about, notable aspect to swinging in and out of balance: Transitions!

All emotionally reactive people have transition issues when dealing with unexpected (and expected) circumstances. This leads to an unnecessary rise in stress levels. I can illustrate this with a traffic example:

People often get into traffic at the end of a long day. They are tired and say to themselves “I can’t wait to get home.” to have some form of enjoyment. So they verbally reinforce and fall into their exhaustion. Then they try to rest while driving. However driving requires alertness and mental flexibility so these different needs clash and cause outbursts. This is easily corrected by learning to transition correctly. Instead of decompressing in the car and waiting till you get home to have fun, activate your neurons (which keeps you alert and mentally flexible) by letting the fun begin in the car. Instead of dropping out of balance slide into the next emotional/energy state with intention. By bee-bopping to some tunes while appreciating the alone time it becomes easy to move from stress to comfort, even if traffic stops you from moving forward in the car.

So, to be clear, try getting in the car and thinking: “Okay, now the fun begins! I’m going to put that plot driven novel I’m listening to on!”

Too many people think the way to calm themselves is with calming music. If you are tired and this refreshes you, great. But most people slump into a meditative state while driving when they do this and they then become more inclined to scream at cars for interrupting their reverie. If you are a screamer and you are tired, it is better to go for the noisy expressions of joy in order to transition from work to home. Thus for the stressed out driver a favorite rock music station is often the more calming choice.

The point is to understand that you are transitioning, that moving from environment A to environment B has an effect on you. So take control of the situation and discover a way to do it comfortably, safely, joyfully. For clarity lets look at this in reverse. Perhaps you are just arriving for your work day. Perhaps you usually love your job but on some days you look around for a problem. On this day you are probably tired or otherwise stressed at home. On these days it is common for you to pull into the parking lot at work and see the car of someone you don’t like working with. Immediately you self talk and create an emotional reaction. This is a form of transitioning sluggishly. You can choose to feel stress and annoyance about having to deal, yet again, with “Bob,” or you can transition into the mentally stimulating work mode brain state right there in the parking lot. Pull out a phone or computer and check email, write a memo, get transitioned into something you find interesting so that now the brain is thinking about work (instead of “Bob”).

Today brains are overwhelmed by multitasking so they are exhausted. Transitioning for a tired brain is harder, leading to reactive emotions and a less balanced brain. So it is harder now than in the past to remain flexible and calm, unless you use tools and tricks to help make transitions easy and fun.

Of course, there is always also this breathing technique: Breathe from the tummy, hold for eight seconds, and exhale. It slows down the heart and re-balances you but for some people even deep breathing is counter to their need for stimulation. Get to know yourself. Be a self student with the plan to be happy, everywhere.

Welcome to my Brainy Lady blog! This is where I get to take off the doctor’s coat (it's not mine--yet), tie it around my waist and share autism tips, surprising brain science, funny personal stories and painful doctorate program homework complaints… okay, maybe I'll avoid that last one. Regardless, I hope to offer insights and invite the same while enjoying a cup of coffee with the autism, neuroscience, psycophysiology, parenting, spiritual, thinking, comedic, curious community! If that leaves you out, I'm sorry and suggest you try on one of the many hats. One is bound to fit!

Something Important To Share

It is not easier here and school is not the path to success!

I was speaking with my mother on the phone. When I told her (for the gazillionth time) that all but one of my four adopted, multiply handicapped, autistic sons had jobs and were independent (she doesn’t know this because she never visits and tries not to remember I adopted them) she said (again and again and again) “Well it must be easy to get jobs down there!”

My mother lives in Canada and I live in California.

She knows that my nephew- who was always much, much, smarter than my sons- lives in a group home. So her conclusion seems logical.

“No, I just insisted on it!” was my now worn out response.

My mom is not unique. Many people say (or think) things like this when I tell them my sons are successful. Many people also try to forget that my sons exist, that they have accomplished this much, that autism, fetal alcohol syndrome, and retardation aren’t life sentences. Many people want to believe its impossible without government support and behavioral programs.

But my sons just worked hard. They did it. And one of them is having a birthday today. I am pondering his life and amazed by all he’s done.

So let me share my definition of success:  BEING INDEPENDENT AND LAW ABIDING WHILE LIVING IN ACCORDANCE WITH WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

And that is it. Do these things and you’re a success.

I know many college graduates that can’t move away from home. My sons are pretty impressive. Especially the three, special needs, adopted, biological siblings.

Lets talk about them. One is a helicopter mechanic. One worked the pipelines as a labor hand for about 15 years but now moves cars for an insurance company. They are both awesome and inclined to fix the problems they create. Neither graduated high school and only one got a GED.

Boy number three left school in grade six. While in the educational system he was kept at a partitioned desk so that he couldn’t see anyone. They did this to control him. He spit and threw chairs. He learned nothing (except how to spit and throw chairs).

I removed him. In a few years he learned to read, write, and do enough math to manage money (mostly). Thus- in my opinion- he was equipped to be independent. He got a driver’s license and moved out.

He was fired many times and moved home often at first.

He learned to cut grass and to keep a lawnmower around for the down times. He broke many of them because he was too impatient to watch out for rocks and potholes.

He learned. He improved. He adventured.

He got his dream job and worked for two years as a professional driver. He owned his own quality car and has had the same apartment for 8 years.

His dream job was stressful because one of the bosses didn’t like him.

My son has overcome being limited by fetal alcohol syndrome and mental retardation. He has worked away his tic disorder, his autism, and his IQ has risen into the low end of typical. He is a miracle. But sometimes people don’t like him.

How sad.

He left the job and the stress of being disliked. He returned his car so that he could relax and not worry about payments and decided to be happy and physically fit by returning to lawn mowing.

It is not easier for him, for any of these children; it is harder. They are not given breaks or programs or handouts, they persevere despite the difficulties. They are not college graduates. They are successes.

I don’t point to their degrees. I point to their manhood.

My lawn mowing son can barely write. But he is admirable. So, whenRye lawn mower his flier made others laugh, it made me laugh too, with the glee that accompanies pride.

So when you read the sign he put up at the post office perhaps you will appreciate that it only takes a few skills to make a life worthwhile.

Government programs aren’t what we need. Heroes like my sons are what we need.

Heroes with work ethics, family and neighbor support can improve your community, as long as you set your radar on ‘appreciate’ rather than ‘judge’.

My son is the most amazing man. He is 31 today. And he mows lawns.

Welcome to my Brainy Lady blog! This is where I get to take off the doctor’s coat (it's not mine--yet), tie it around my waist and share autism tips, surprising brain science, funny personal stories and painful doctorate program homework complaints… okay, maybe I'll avoid that last one. Regardless, I hope to offer insights and invite the same while enjoying a cup of coffee with the autism, neuroscience, psycophysiology, parenting, spiritual, thinking, comedic, curious community! If that leaves you out, I'm sorry and suggest you try on one of the many hats. One is bound to fit!

Unasked For Advise or Information – Being a Brave Mom

What it means to be brave when you are a mom:

At the grocery store check out counter.

The clerk said, “Hello.”

I said, “Hello.”

She asked “How are you?”

My thirty-four-year-old, hard-to-understand, son said, “Fine.”

I said, “He said ‘fine’.”

She nodded.

The bagger said, “He likes to get out of the house, huh?”

Feeling a little irked, I did what I often do in this circumstance, I said, “He likes to do a lot of things.” Then I spoke to my son. “Do you like to get out of the house Dar?”

My son said, “Yes.” and looked at the ground.

In that moment I had a quick internal dialogue meant to muster courage. “Come on Brain Broad! You can do better than that. Raise the bar!” I looked at the bagger and smiled.

Then feeling nervous (yes even The Brain Broad feels nervous when she offers unasked for advice) I said in my most loving, while also most grounded and absolute tone, “I know you are trying to be kind but please don’t speak about him in third person.” She looked confused so I explained the term ‘third person’. “Ask him, not me. Speak ‘to’ him. Not ‘about’ him.”

She said, “Oh! I can speak to him? I didn’t know.”

My son said, “Yes.”

And we walked away happy, knowing that what had started out as ‘unasked for advice’ had ended up as ‘information.’

After we left the store I asked Dar if it was okay that I had talked to her about him and he put his arm around my shoulder. Then he turned me so that I would look in his eyes and said ‘Yes.’

He is a man of few words but he gets his point across.

Please if you see us. Talk to him, not just me.

Dar and mom snuggle